Has anybody read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris? A friend of mine recommended it to me some years back but frankly speaking the title did not make the the book very appealing to me and I was critical about it even before I read a single page. Recently I managed to get my hands on the book and I must say - why in the world did I not make an effort to read this book earlier? I was impressed by the way that Joshua Harris wrote about his decision and his views on dating. Many times I found myself laughing out aloud as I read the book. It is not an ordinary no dating book and the writer emphasizes that he is not against dating per se but against the way people perceive dating. He advocates for honoring God, the other person and oneself. As I read the book I could not help but agree with most of the things he pointed out about the cons/disadvantages of dating the ordinary way i.e that it creates an artificial environment hence the possibility of overlooking some crucial things about a person, it is mostly about feelings and what we feel and yet feelings change all the time hence the need to look at more than what we feel.
Ok I said, this is well and lovely but then how is one supposed to approach relationships and that's when he talked about principled dating or what some call courtship. This is when one enters into a relationship with commitment in mind and the aim of the relationship is to get to know each other and decide if the individuals are compatible. This process can involve taking part in activities the other person likes, meeting their friends, mentors, family as a way of really getting to know each other. Generally, it is up to the couple to decide the kind of things they want to do during their courtship. This is just but a summary but I must say this book changed my outlook on relationships and it got me excited.
Fast forward - A couple of days ago I was discussing with some lady friends about relationship issues and I was enthusiastic to share what I had read in I Kissed Dating Good-Bye. Their response was a disappointing one for me. I mean these were all christian ladies and I thought they would appreciate the concept of honoring God even in dating and relationships. Most of them seemed to say 'All the best if you are want to do that kind of thing cause in this day and age it does not work'. One of them did not beat about the bush and asked me which man for instance would want to have a first kiss at the altar in this day and age and I shall not go into detail about other stuff.
Dear readers what are your views? I would love to hear your thoughts or even experiences. Is it practical to have principled dating in this day and age whereby individuals can decide to wait to get physical until they are officially married? Or may be it is something which is not practical? Do you think courtship/principled dating is old fashioned?