How about dancing in the rain?

I am a fan of Taylor Swift. What!!! Really!!!Some people have said to me in surprise. Some have said her songs are more for teenagers (I am one at heart) and some have called her cheesy because of her fairy tale looking videos and sounding lyrics, but to me she is different and refreshing (I blame it on all those romantic movies and novels I have read) and there is just something about her that I love. I have seen a number of videos of some of the live shows she has done and I was amazed how much of a natural entertainer she is. The girl is talented, no wonder why she received a number of Grammy Awards.

Being in love is such a beautiful thing. A line from one of Taylor's songs caught my attention, I really liked the picture of being in love that she painted in her song Fearless - 'I don't know why but with you I'd dance, In a storm in my best dress, Fearless'. Love is well...love. Love can make people do fearless things, things which they would not necessarily ordinarily do (my emphasis here is on the good things) to show how much they love someone. Like Miss Swift if I get the chance I would definitely not mind doing something fearless like dancing in a storm in my best dress with the one I love :) ... well as long as it is not thundering and its not a hail storm (the blame for entertaining such thoughts still goes on those romantic movies). I think it would be crazy, fun and one of those moments we would always remember and smile. Do you think that love can make people fearless and do crazy things????

I like what Proverbs 15:17 says about love 'Better is a dinner with herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it'. As for me I chose love. This Christmas I am looking forward to expressing my love to family, friends and  even strangers in various ways. Love is the answer to a lot of life's problems.

In case I do not write another post before Christmas, May you all have a love filled Christmas filled with joy and lots of laughter.

The 'Joys' Of Singlehood

My post today is inspired by a statement that one of my friends put up on their face book profile recently. I have to admit, I have a  love and hate relationship with face book but for some reason I cannot seem to stay away from it. Anyway, this is what my friend posted, "Is it really that wrong and awkward to be still single at this age? Most of my peers are still single so whats the big deal then.....I'm gonna smack the next person who brings up this issue....let the man be PLEASE!"

'I am with you bro, I am with you' was what I immediately thought. The pressure... I know it, have experienced it and sometimes is too much and can be annoying. When people especially loved ones begin to think that its about time you graduated from single-hood into marriage they say and do all sort of things to get their points across. For instance:

1. Friends begin to give your number to people they think would be well suited with you in the hope that they could be the 'one for you'.

2. Aunties and Uncles begin to talk to you about how your parents are just about the only ones in the immediate family who do not yet have grand children.

3. People begin to tell you that you are such a wonderful person and that it is amazing that someone has not yet 'snatched' you and they hint heavily that could it be that the problem is with you, that is, maybe you are playing too hard to get.

4. Friends openly accuse you of being too picky and that if you continued like that you would never get married.

5. Friends and family will as close as interrogate you when you mention a friend of the opposite sex. They suspect that there could be more to the relationship that you are telling.

6. People will begin to make statements like 'What? Being a bride's maid again?'
7. Telling people that you are waiting on God and His perfect timing stops making sense to them and they tell you to be realistic. Really? What could be more realistic than trusting the God of all flesh who knows the hearts of man and knows what is best for me and when?

Anybody, at this place or maybe it's just me and my friend? Just wondering.

Is it Practical? (Follow up post)

Do you remember this post? I was talking about principled dating (courtship) and if it is practical or at least possible in this day and age. Well, I took the advise of my blog friend LDP and I read the book When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy. This is what happened...

One day I was chatting to a certain lady who like me loves to read. I happened to mention to her that I was looking forward to reading the above mentioned book, if only I could get my hands on  it. She said it sounded like an interesting book and she would ask around among her single friends if anyone had a copy. Fast forward about 2 weeks later the lady surprises me with a copy of the book and it had a CD too, of one of Eric's and Leslie's songs called Faithfully - great song and beautiful lyrics. 

'I wanted to surprise you ', the lady told me 'I knew if I told you I wanted to buy the book for you you would not agree and I wanted so much to bless you with something'. What can I say, this is just but one of the pleasant surprises which God has been throwing my way lately. Isn't God good at doing things that make one go aawwwww and want to cry with joy?

I quickly dived into the book and I was not disappointed at all. The book is an enfolding story of how two people made life changing decisions to give God unlimited access to all aspects of their lives including their love lives. As Eric puts it, it was 'him moving out and God moving in' taking full control of his entire ship (his life). There are many lessons to be learned in this book and one thing I liked about it is that it is real. Both Eric and Leslie tell of the challenges they faced, how at times they broke down and what they did to keep going and waiting on God. 

Do you know that you can start being faithful to your future spouse long before you meet them? Or that we can use our families as our practice fields for our future marriages? I will not go into detail about the book but I would encourage all those singles who desire to have God write their love stories read the book. It is very inspiring. 

At the end of the day the 'sweeter song' of true love and romance is sung on a ship that is headed against the tide (borrowing some lines from the book). It is not easy to play by a different set of dating rules that include having God as the captain but it is possible and the best route to take, as far as I am concerned  - well speaking for myself that is. I totally agree with Eric and Leslie, 'our generation needs ordinary people who choose to love God in extra-ordinary ways and lovers who will ask "what would Jesus do?" and then really do it'. God bless our generation!!!!!

Is it Practical?

Has anybody read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris? A friend of mine recommended it to me some years back but frankly speaking the title did not make the the book very appealing to me and I was critical about it even before I read a single page. Recently I managed to get my hands on the book and I must say - why in the world did I not make an effort to read this book earlier? I was impressed by the way that Joshua Harris wrote about his decision and his views on dating. Many times I found myself laughing out aloud as I read the book. It is not an ordinary no dating book and the writer emphasizes that he is not against dating per se but against the way people perceive dating. He advocates for honoring God, the other person and oneself. As I read the book I could not help but agree with most of the things he pointed out about the cons/disadvantages of dating the ordinary way i.e that it creates an artificial environment hence the possibility of overlooking some crucial things about a person, it is mostly about feelings and what we feel and yet feelings change all the time hence the need to look at more than what we feel.

Ok I said, this is well and lovely but then how is one supposed to approach relationships and that's when he talked about principled dating or what some call courtship. This is when one enters into a relationship with commitment in mind and the aim of the relationship is to get to know each other and decide if the individuals are compatible. This process can involve taking part in activities the other person likes, meeting their friends, mentors, family  as a way of really getting to know each other. Generally, it is up to the couple to decide the kind of things they want to do during their courtship. This is just but a summary but I must say this book changed my outlook on relationships and it got me excited.

Fast forward - A couple of days ago I was discussing with some lady friends about relationship issues and I was enthusiastic to share what I had read in I Kissed Dating Good-Bye. Their response was a disappointing one for me. I mean these were all christian ladies and I thought they would appreciate the concept of honoring God even in dating and relationships. Most of them seemed to say 'All the best if you are want to do that kind of thing cause in this day and age it does not work'. One of them did not beat about the bush and asked me which man for instance would want to have a first kiss at the altar in this day and age and I shall not go into detail about other stuff.

Dear readers what are your views? I would love to hear your thoughts or even experiences. Is it practical to have principled dating in this day and age whereby individuals can  decide to wait to get physical until they are officially married? Or may be it is something which is not practical? Do you think courtship/principled dating is old fashioned?

Could it be that...

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...wives or should I say women generally when it comes to relationships need to lighten up a bit sometimes. Some one forwarded me the story below and  I must say it cracked me up.

Smiley from here

They have been married for a long time. As usual they have their ups and downs. One day they had a big fight and things are falling apart. He was disappointed and she was angry.

After one week of silence treatment from her wife, he approached her with papers and pencils. He suggested that both of them sit down on the dining table and write down on paper what they are not happy about each other. They will then exchange the papers and discuss.

So the wife started to write without looking up because she has a lot to write about her frustration. The husband took a long look at the wife and he too started to write. After fifteen minutes of writing, they look at each other and exchange the papers.

The husband looked at the paper full of complaints. She was angry. When the wife looked at his paper, she was embarrassed and quickly tears away her own paper. On his paper, he wrote for two full pages:

"I love you, honey".

What are your views or thoughts???? You are welcome to share.

Love O' Love

 Image from here

Almost every morning on my way to work I usually meet a certain couple near the traffic lights that lead directly into the city center. Usually they will be walking hand in hand lost in their own world and when they get to the traffic lights they part ways after a hug and kiss (sometimes several). I have also noticed that when they are a distance away from each other at times either of them calls the other and then they wave to each other several times until one is out of sight. To me it is apparent how deeply in love they are with each other. Meeting this couple has become one of the things that I look forward to every morning. 

If I am to judge by their age then maybe it is safe for me to assume that most likely they have been together for quite awhile, that's why I am 'vowed' by them. They remind me about the beauty of love and that for anyone searching for true love hope should never be lost because it does exist - many are a living testimony.

Complicated and Confusing? or Straightforward and Simple?

I am a great fan of Elisabeth Elliot and couldn’t agree more with what she says in her book Quest for Love that dating and relationships have become very complicated and confusing today.  Talk about radical feminism and the language of rights and equality which she says ‘seem to be the only acceptable language today’, have added their fair share of confusion to relationships.  For instance, if a man and a woman have lunch together, each wonders, ‘Will he/she freak out if I offer to pay? Or if I don’t offer to pay’. One just does not know what to expect anymore.

I spent some time in Scandinavia and I was surprised to discover that it was the norm that when you went on a date with someone it was usually assumed you would split the bill unless the man offered to pay for you.  I found it weird because back home when you go out on a date it is the man who always pays in fact most guys would take pride in doing so. Thank God I had been warned in advance and I saved myself from embarrassment. Maybe I am the only one but there have been times were I have found myself tiptoeing when it comes to dating.

Everyone has their views about dating and relationships - the dos and the don't s and so on,  but as a Christian woman I believe that I should make wise choices in line with the Word of God. I am very grateful for Boundless a web magazine which I got to know about through the blog of From now Till I do. The web zine discusses all sort of issues like dating and courtship, marriage, being single, careers and faith issues. I have been able to get insight on many questions I have had for a long time but had never gotten satisfactory answers to. Now as I continue to read this magazine I feel like I am growing in wisdom and have been making more informed decisions especially in the dating arena.

Occasionally I come across stories and people who inspire me; in fact I have an Inspiration Folder where I collect stories, pictures and anything that inspires me and I love going through this special folder whenever I need a dose of inspiration. I want to share a true story I came across years ago but have forgotten where I got it from or who wrote it but anyway here goes, I hope it inspires you the way it always does me :-

HOMECOMING
 Author Unknown

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life changing experiences that you hear other people talk about, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly.

This one occurred a mere two feet away from me. Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, "Me, too, Dad!"

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son's face in his hands said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi, baby girl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last," and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed, "I love you so much!" They stared at each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't possibly be.

I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?"

"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those," he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face.

"Well, then, how long have you been away?" I asked.

The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile.

"Two whole days!"

Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he'd been gone for at least several weeks, if not months. I know my expression betrayed me, I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"

The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope, friend ... decide!"

Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!" With that, he and his family turned and strode away together. I was still watching that exceptional man and his special family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?"

Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"

Lesson: How a marriage or relationship turns out is depended on what the people involved decide to make it. The decision and initiative is up to us.

Oh Yes!!!!!!!!I am loved

For neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord' Romans 8:37 -39.

I never cease to be amazed and blown away every time I read this scripture. Imagine nothing absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God. It doesn't matter what I did, what I did not do - it doesn't matter what I think of myself or what others think of me - the King of Kings loves me. He loved me so much that He was willing to give up what he loved the most - His son so that He could die for me on the cross that I may have everlasting life(Romans 8:32).

I do not know about you but as for me I live every single day knowing that I am loved and nothing and nobody can take away that love from me. Its a kind of love that is unconditional and is forever and unlike the other kinds of love I have experienced, loves that where conditional and I lived in fear of losing. At least with God I can never doubt His love for me. It is valentine everyday with Him.